Parenting is the most complex and challenging job in the earth. This art comes from the genes and environmental settings. Scientists say that both these factors play an equally critical role in the upbringing of the children. The children were closely watched in the past. Their freedom was totally controlled by the family in general and parents in particular. The general feeling is that without monitoring and adequate control children will venture into the wrong path. Helicopter parenting is a colloquial term which refers to the constant observation of children by parents. Like the helicopter the parents keep hovering around their children.
Till they become adults at the age of 18 there is a complete observation by the parents. Some parents relax their watching habits at 13 when their child becomes a teenager. This varies from country to country and culture to culture. In the traditional societies youngsters are treated as children without much freedom even they become parents.
A keen look at the parenting of Indian society will give interesting leads. The helicopter parenting lasts till the end of their lives. A westerner may think that the Indian children are slaves. But a closer observation will point out that there is an intimate affection between children and parents. Sometimes, over affection turns out to be over dominations in the lives of children. Most of them may complain in the initial stages. But in the long run they are happy that their parents control helped them to walk in their right direction. After all families play a predominant role in the national growth.
I was in the Swiss embassy in New Delhi to collect my visa in the winter of 2003. There was a newly wedded couple in the counter. The visa staff was asking the purpose of their Swiss visit. The groom and bride said in unison “Honeymoon”. The staff countered “is 15 days enough for honeymoon”. The groom’s face dimmed and turned to his father “Pappa is 15 days enough?” There was a laughter burst out in the hall. Despite getting married, a youth of 24 years depends on father for every decision including his honeymoon. Father is the one who takes care of his entire life journey. From the birth till the father falls sick. It is a reciprocal relation. At the sick age children are supposed to take care of the parents.
The industrial age and service economy have overturned this age-old social principle. More and more of the organic solidarity have loosened the social ties. Today the number of old-age homes is increasing. Dropped out parents list is lengthening. The scene is more heart shattering in Europe and America. One can watch a large number of lonely old people walking and wheeling. The French summer of 2004 was just 27 degrees. Although it was abnormal to the European standards it is nothing for Asians and Africans. In that sweltering French heat 4000 old-age people passed away. When the old-age homes contacted the children of the demised people, they refused to pick up the dead parents. They were happily holidaying in some exotic locations.
The common response was “They didn’t care us when we were children. Why should we bother now for them?” This reciprocal relation is crucial for the well-being of the humanity. To sustain the strong society one needs to sacrifice. It should not be a debate who should sacrifice. The traditional societies teach sacrifice from the childhood. The western winds have badly affected the eastern sector of the world. But majority of them are still parent fearing children. Age does not matter to the culture of parent obedient children. A highly qualified professor of mine who was 64 five years back told me that he is going to his home town and won’t be available in office for 4 days. When I saw him next day he said “My pappa shouted in phone at me for venturing out in the cold so I cancelled my travel”. I was shocked and surprised. Despite reaching high positions people listen to their parents.
In the heart of Delhi, I went to a house where marriage preparations were going on in a full swing. That was a house of a high profile businessman of 60 years old. There were four generations of people running around. At the centre was a grand old woman of 85 years. She is the mother of the 60 years old businessman whose daughter is getting married. The grand woman was giving all the directions and his son keeps coming to her often for the next step.
He may be dictating terms to the entire country but at home his mother is the leader. There is a pin drop silence when she speaks. Now the question is helicopter parenting good or not? There should be adequate care and guidance from the parents. But there should be line to it. Parents should avoid crossing the line of control with their children. Excess control may harm the growth of children.
Fearing the fallout of parenting a new culture of Double Income No Kids (DINKs) was ushered. Nearly 36% of the three years married couple are afraid of having children. A strong family, parenting and children are vital for the growth of the nation. India should continue to help the misguided families and put a high premium on the right guidance to the families. Any let down on the timely aid to the families will hinder the long-term growth of the country. Helicopter parenting needs to be fine-tuned and applied according to the situations not all time hovering.
Till they become adults at the age of 18 there is a complete observation by the parents. Some parents relax their watching habits at 13 when their child becomes a teenager. This varies from country to country and culture to culture. In the traditional societies youngsters are treated as children without much freedom even they become parents.
A keen look at the parenting of Indian society will give interesting leads. The helicopter parenting lasts till the end of their lives. A westerner may think that the Indian children are slaves. But a closer observation will point out that there is an intimate affection between children and parents. Sometimes, over affection turns out to be over dominations in the lives of children. Most of them may complain in the initial stages. But in the long run they are happy that their parents control helped them to walk in their right direction. After all families play a predominant role in the national growth.
I was in the Swiss embassy in New Delhi to collect my visa in the winter of 2003. There was a newly wedded couple in the counter. The visa staff was asking the purpose of their Swiss visit. The groom and bride said in unison “Honeymoon”. The staff countered “is 15 days enough for honeymoon”. The groom’s face dimmed and turned to his father “Pappa is 15 days enough?” There was a laughter burst out in the hall. Despite getting married, a youth of 24 years depends on father for every decision including his honeymoon. Father is the one who takes care of his entire life journey. From the birth till the father falls sick. It is a reciprocal relation. At the sick age children are supposed to take care of the parents.
The industrial age and service economy have overturned this age-old social principle. More and more of the organic solidarity have loosened the social ties. Today the number of old-age homes is increasing. Dropped out parents list is lengthening. The scene is more heart shattering in Europe and America. One can watch a large number of lonely old people walking and wheeling. The French summer of 2004 was just 27 degrees. Although it was abnormal to the European standards it is nothing for Asians and Africans. In that sweltering French heat 4000 old-age people passed away. When the old-age homes contacted the children of the demised people, they refused to pick up the dead parents. They were happily holidaying in some exotic locations.
The common response was “They didn’t care us when we were children. Why should we bother now for them?” This reciprocal relation is crucial for the well-being of the humanity. To sustain the strong society one needs to sacrifice. It should not be a debate who should sacrifice. The traditional societies teach sacrifice from the childhood. The western winds have badly affected the eastern sector of the world. But majority of them are still parent fearing children. Age does not matter to the culture of parent obedient children. A highly qualified professor of mine who was 64 five years back told me that he is going to his home town and won’t be available in office for 4 days. When I saw him next day he said “My pappa shouted in phone at me for venturing out in the cold so I cancelled my travel”. I was shocked and surprised. Despite reaching high positions people listen to their parents.
In the heart of Delhi, I went to a house where marriage preparations were going on in a full swing. That was a house of a high profile businessman of 60 years old. There were four generations of people running around. At the centre was a grand old woman of 85 years. She is the mother of the 60 years old businessman whose daughter is getting married. The grand woman was giving all the directions and his son keeps coming to her often for the next step.
He may be dictating terms to the entire country but at home his mother is the leader. There is a pin drop silence when she speaks. Now the question is helicopter parenting good or not? There should be adequate care and guidance from the parents. But there should be line to it. Parents should avoid crossing the line of control with their children. Excess control may harm the growth of children.
Fearing the fallout of parenting a new culture of Double Income No Kids (DINKs) was ushered. Nearly 36% of the three years married couple are afraid of having children. A strong family, parenting and children are vital for the growth of the nation. India should continue to help the misguided families and put a high premium on the right guidance to the families. Any let down on the timely aid to the families will hinder the long-term growth of the country. Helicopter parenting needs to be fine-tuned and applied according to the situations not all time hovering.
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